Who Should I Hide Behind in a Barfight?

southern cross cruiser club According a recent CNN article, some would-be thieves didn’t realize they were cruisin’ for a bruisin’ when they tried to rob an Australian nightclub. A group of hardcore bikers called The Southern Cross Cruiser Club were actually holding their group meeting at the same bar and foiled the robbers’ nefarious plot in a gritty display of heroism.

Despite the fact that the masked perpetrators were wielding knives and machetes, the bikers attacked them with chairs and tables, chased them into the parking lot, threw a table at the getaway car, and hogtied one of the guys with electrical tape.

Badass. southern cross biker

Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so. The Southern Cross Cruiser website is on fire with people from around the globe leaving messages on their guestbook, celebrating their barroom bravery.

So it got me thinking…had it been a meeting of fly fishermen instead of bikers, would the outcome have been the same? Would anglers kick some robber butt?

Perhaps we need to be more specific. For example, would it make a difference if it were a meeting of flytyers versus casting instructors? Freshwater guides or saltwater captains? Outfitters or well-outfitted clients? Outdoor journalists or new media filmmakers? Steelheaders or bass fishermen?

I can say this. If the robbers had masks that said NESTLE or t-shirts that said I [HEART] DONNY BEAVER, then my money’s on TC from the Trout Underground to clean the floor with them.

And it probably goes without saying I’d feel pretty safe if the boys from Buster Wants to Fish were there to unleash all hell.

But what do you think? Who within our “quiet” sport is most likely to take care of business in a barroom brawl?

31 Responses to “Who Should I Hide Behind in a Barfight?”
  1. Day Tripper says:

    I’d put my money on anyone but trout only guys.

  2. John LeJeune says:

    All us bad ass mofo Moldy Chum readers that’s who. We’d get back up from all the AEG fans too. TC, Buster and G_smolt are a given.

  3. C’mon, fly fishers would be too busy critiquing everybody’s fighting form to actually focus on some serious ass kicking.

  4. Ian Scott says:

    “I’d put my money on anyone but trout only guys.”

    Ha! And the carp guys would be the ones doing the serious ass kicking.

  5. Pete says:

    You’d have one group bitching with another about whether real fly fishermen fight back with barstools or pool cues, then they’d turn on each other while the robbers cleaned out the place.

  6. thee says:


  7. Wook says:


    Buster’s not sure exactly what this means, but he says it all the time. Whatever it means, he seems to feel pretty strongly about it. Just nod and move away, but avoid eye contact and for dog’s sake, DON’T SMILE.

  8. John M. White says:

    Well, F.F.C., you can rest easy beacuse it probably wouldn’t happen in Texas, because chances are good that at least a couple of us would be packin’. And you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight. Now let’s go back to fishin’.

  9. And the guide looked at me cross-eyed when he saw the .45 in my reel bag as I loaded the drift boat.
    What? never know when an idiot might appear.

    “Anyone worth shooting, is worth shooting twice”.


  10. Kentucky Jim says:

    Well, I think we should probably stick with fishin’, too. But I gotta put my two cents in. I’m goin’ for whoever you find shopping in a Bass Pro Store. Fly fishermen, spin fishermen, bait fishermen, freshwater, saltwater, large fish, small fish; they’re the ass kickers, one and all.

    Sorry Texans, you got no corner on that market!

  11. fishhead says:

    Three mistakes the bad guys should never make with with any kind of fishermen/women.

    Don’t muddy up the water
    Don’t break the rod
    Don’t take his fishing money
    Don’t purposely spill his beer

    Cross that line and it doesn’t matter what camp you’re in, the fight is on…

  12. KBarton10 says:

    Fly fishing types would fumble all over themselves offering up wallets and Rolex’s, they’d wait until the premises were pillaged, then pretend they were about to “bitchslap” something – only they held back, ’cause they might break a nail.

  13. Wally says:

    “We’re drunken fly fishers and we’re here to rescue you, ma’am.”
    Mostly it would depend on what was in it for us. Fame, glory, wimmen? Forget it!
    Open bar and get out of jail free card? You can count on us.

  14. Dave - SLF says:

    That’s one of the reasons I like fishing with TC. He’s always ready to get in it when some a-hole tries to muscle in on our spot.

    We don’t play that on the Upper Sac.

  15. Salty says:

    Be careful, if Thee and Wally are in the same room, they can unlock their secret Wondertwin powers.

  16. Wook says:


    Shape of…an ice pick. IN YOUR EYE!

  17. Wally says:

    If me And Thee are in the same room someone better be on there way back from a beer run.
    Law and order every time,

  18. Sully says:

    Hard to predict which longroders would actually step up DURING a bar fight.
    For sure all the guides would be bragging about what a great day they had afterwards.

  19. Easy Sully, you know us guide are gently, and never get hostal, and most wouldn’t ever think of getting into an altercation.
    (I did say most of us Semper Fi, were’s my Kabar)

  20. margaret says:

    could clear out the craig bar….watch out for those local yocals

  21. can you imagine margaret? I swear I feel safer in the craig bar than anyplace on the planet. that crew would take care of business before the jukebox switched songs

    these comments are all great. makes me want to go have a beer with each one of you

  22. Gus says:

    The first to come to mind for me was Dave Roberts…

    I’ll say it, cause he won’t.

    His KaBar has been by his side for more years than most of us have been here, and the stories it could tell that he never would out of humility would scare the living crap out of you. Dave’s life is bigger than Thee Trouthole’s ego. (No offense, thee, but I needed to give people a comparison… heh…)

    Folks, when you are in the same room or boat as Dave, you’d never know you were in the presence of a true, kick-a$$, no holds barred, humble American Servant Marine Hero.

    Just Sayin.


  23. margaret says:

    have you seen the craig bar since it closed and re-opened? the girls really cleaned it up, even painted.
    i know that if i have a frozen pipe, can’t start the car, need a ride or whatever, those men(hard to say gentlemen) will leave their beers to rescue me.
    my heros

  24. sounds like we’d all be safe with Dave Roberts and his KaBar in the Craig Bar

    Margaret — I haven’t been to craig since the grand re-opening. the updates trickled down to Texas slowly. am just so glad everything worked out for it to open back up!! but here’s the most important question….has the jukebox changed?

  25. Good site I \”Stumbledupon\” it today and gave it a stumble for you.. looking forward to seeing what else you have..later

  26. Jen says:

    Hahaha, they actually threw a table at the get-a-way car. That is classic!

  27. Rolex says:

    I think the guys from “Deadliest Catch: Crab Fishing in Alaska” would tear up anyone at these bars. I think fly fisherman are pretty tough but these guys in Alaska are crazy.

  28. Jimmy says:

    Hey Rolex, you kidding!

  29. I gotta agree with Pete on this one. The saltwaters would be pickin’ a fight with the freshwaters and the robbers would get away with the cash in the register without ever being noticed.

  30. Villarreal says:

    You seem like a very intelligent person. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us.

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