Who Should I Hide Behind in a Barfight?
February 29th, 2008
According a recent CNN article, some would-be thieves didn’t realize they were cruisin’ for a bruisin’ when they tried to rob an Australian nightclub. A group of hardcore bikers called The Southern Cross Cruiser Club were actually holding their group meeting at the same bar and foiled the robbers’ nefarious plot in a gritty display of heroism.
Despite the fact that the masked perpetrators were wielding knives and machetes, the bikers attacked them with chairs and tables, chased them into the parking lot, threw a table at the getaway car, and hogtied one of the guys with electrical tape.
Badass. 
Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so. The Southern Cross Cruiser website is on fire with people from around the globe leaving messages on their guestbook, celebrating their barroom bravery.
So it got me thinking…had it been a meeting of fly fishermen instead of bikers, would the outcome have been the same? Would anglers kick some robber butt?
Perhaps we need to be more specific. For example, would it make a difference if it were a meeting of flytyers versus casting instructors? Freshwater guides or saltwater captains? Outfitters or well-outfitted clients? Outdoor journalists or new media filmmakers? Steelheaders or bass fishermen?
I can say this. If the robbers had masks that said NESTLE or t-shirts that said I [HEART] DONNY BEAVER, then my money’s on TC from the Trout Underground to clean the floor with them.
And it probably goes without saying I’d feel pretty safe if the boys from Buster Wants to Fish were there to unleash all hell.
But what do you think? Who within our “quiet” sport is most likely to take care of business in a barroom brawl?
February 29th, 2008 at 10:08 am
I’d put my money on anyone but trout only guys.
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February 29th, 2008 at 10:19 am
All us bad ass mofo Moldy Chum readers that’s who. We’d get back up from all the AEG fans too. TC, Buster and G_smolt are a given.
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February 29th, 2008 at 10:35 am
C’mon, fly fishers would be too busy critiquing everybody’s fighting form to actually focus on some serious ass kicking.
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February 29th, 2008 at 11:10 am
“I’d put my money on anyone but trout only guys.”
Ha! And the carp guys would be the ones doing the serious ass kicking.
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February 29th, 2008 at 11:58 am
You’d have one group bitching with another about whether real fly fishermen fight back with barstools or pool cues, then they’d turn on each other while the robbers cleaned out the place.
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February 29th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
DO NEVER TEST!
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February 29th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
“DO NEVER TEST!”
Buster’s not sure exactly what this means, but he says it all the time. Whatever it means, he seems to feel pretty strongly about it. Just nod and move away, but avoid eye contact and for dog’s sake, DON’T SMILE.
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February 29th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Well, F.F.C., you can rest easy beacuse it probably wouldn’t happen in Texas, because chances are good that at least a couple of us would be packin’. And you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight. Now let’s go back to fishin’.
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February 29th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
And the guide looked at me cross-eyed when he saw the .45 in my reel bag as I loaded the drift boat.
What? never know when an idiot might appear.
“Anyone worth shooting, is worth shooting twice”.
Monty
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February 29th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Well, I think we should probably stick with fishin’, too. But I gotta put my two cents in. I’m goin’ for whoever you find shopping in a Bass Pro Store. Fly fishermen, spin fishermen, bait fishermen, freshwater, saltwater, large fish, small fish; they’re the ass kickers, one and all.
Sorry Texans, you got no corner on that market!
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February 29th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Three mistakes the bad guys should never make with with any kind of fishermen/women.
Don’t muddy up the water
Don’t break the rod
Don’t take his fishing money
Don’t purposely spill his beer
Cross that line and it doesn’t matter what camp you’re in, the fight is on…
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February 29th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Fly fishing types would fumble all over themselves offering up wallets and Rolex’s, they’d wait until the premises were pillaged, then pretend they were about to “bitchslap” something - only they held back, ’cause they might break a nail.
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March 1st, 2008 at 12:42 am
“We’re drunken fly fishers and we’re here to rescue you, ma’am.”
Mostly it would depend on what was in it for us. Fame, glory, wimmen? Forget it!
Open bar and get out of jail free card? You can count on us.
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March 1st, 2008 at 9:53 pm
That’s one of the reasons I like fishing with TC. He’s always ready to get in it when some a-hole tries to muscle in on our spot.
We don’t play that on the Upper Sac.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 11:03 am
Be careful, if Thee and Wally are in the same room, they can unlock their secret Wondertwin powers.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Form of…DRUNKEN MONKEY!
Shape of…an ice pick. IN YOUR EYE!
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March 2nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
If me And Thee are in the same room someone better be on there way back from a beer run.
Law and order every time,
Wallace
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March 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Hard to predict which longroders would actually step up DURING a bar fight.
For sure all the guides would be bragging about what a great day they had afterwards.
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March 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 am
Easy Sully, you know us guide are gently, and never get hostal, and most wouldn’t ever think of getting into an altercation.
(I did say most of us Semper Fi, were’s my Kabar)
David
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March 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 am
could clear out the craig bar….watch out for those local yocals
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March 3rd, 2008 at 10:53 am
can you imagine margaret? I swear I feel safer in the craig bar than anyplace on the planet. that crew would take care of business before the jukebox switched songs
these comments are all great. makes me want to go have a beer with each one of you
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March 3rd, 2008 at 11:21 am
The first to come to mind for me was Dave Roberts…
I’ll say it, cause he won’t.
His KaBar has been by his side for more years than most of us have been here, and the stories it could tell that he never would out of humility would scare the living crap out of you. Dave’s life is bigger than Thee Trouthole’s ego. (No offense, thee, but I needed to give people a comparison… heh…)
Folks, when you are in the same room or boat as Dave, you’d never know you were in the presence of a true, kick-a$$, no holds barred, humble American Servant Marine Hero.
Just Sayin.
-Gus
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March 3rd, 2008 at 7:05 pm
have you seen the craig bar since it closed and re-opened? the girls really cleaned it up, even painted.
i know that if i have a frozen pipe, can’t start the car, need a ride or whatever, those men(hard to say gentlemen) will leave their beers to rescue me.
my heros
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March 5th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
sounds like we’d all be safe with Dave Roberts and his KaBar in the Craig Bar
Margaret — I haven’t been to craig since the grand re-opening. the updates trickled down to Texas slowly. am just so glad everything worked out for it to open back up!! but here’s the most important question….has the jukebox changed?
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April 6th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Good site I \”Stumbledupon\” it today and gave it a stumble for you.. looking forward to seeing what else you have..later
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April 13th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Hahaha, they actually threw a table at the get-a-way car. That is classic!
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May 23rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I think the guys from “Deadliest Catch: Crab Fishing in Alaska” would tear up anyone at these bars. I think fly fisherman are pretty tough but these guys in Alaska are crazy.
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June 23rd, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Hey Rolex, you kidding!
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December 19th, 2008 at 1:18 am
I gotta agree with Pete on this one. The saltwaters would be pickin’ a fight with the freshwaters and the robbers would get away with the cash in the register without ever being noticed.
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April 5th, 2009 at 2:01 am
You seem like a very intelligent person. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us.
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