Next Time Loretta. Next Time.

loretta opry I am a woman of limited interests. Other than my daughter, my family and close friends, I really only love two things: fishing and honkytonk music.

Now I adore all kinds of music – soul, blues, rock, jazz, Sinatra Sinatra Sinatra, bluegrass, gospel, disco, hiphop. But I cut my teeth on good old honkytonk music and it holds the hotspot in my heart to this very day.

I grew up singing Willie, Waylon, Ernest Tubb, Hank Thompson, Guy Clark, Faron Young, Webb Pierce, Patsy Cline, and Loretta Lynn. Oh, Loretta Lynn!

I’ll spare you my impassioned monologue on why Loretta Lynn is the greatest female artist of all time. I have a fuzzy memory of boring Charlie Robison and his entire band one night in Little Rock Arkansas as we drank til dawn and I pontificated about how Loretta “broke down barriers” and “wrote her own songs” and “put out avant garde lyrics for her time”. Blah blah blah. I was brilliant in my own mind. In retrospect, I doubt that’s where Charlie’s band thought the night was going after diligently plying me with liquor til 6am. Oops.

loretta chroniclesBut what can I say, I just love Loretta Lynn. One time I went on a blind date with a guy who, over appetizers, managed to reveal that he couldn’t stand fly fishing and despised Loretta Lynn.


I suppose everyone is welcome to their own opinion. But….what? I tried as gracefully as possible to decline subsequent invitations but finally just had to lay it on the line. I simply couldn’t go on a second date with someone who hates fly fishing and Loretta Lynn.

It’s been a longtime dream of mine to see Loretta perform. I’ve been trying for the past few years but it just never works out. I was going to see her in Biloxi. Even tried to make it to Pennsylvania last year. But something always comes up. So just recently I decided to check in on her tour schedule, and lo and behold…

Loretta Lynn is playing in Austin June 13th!

Right when I will be fishing in Montana!

loretta album

Ah! Now obviously I do not pass up any chances to fish. Especially in Montana. But it does sting just a little that she’s coming here while I’m gone.

Hmm, what would Loretta do? I mustered my very best kick-this-thing-in-the-ass-keep-on-keepin-on Loretta attitude and decided it is my duty to see as much live music as possible before I take off for Montana. It may not be Loretta, but there is a lot of honkytonkin’ to choose from in Austin. Here’s my wish list:

4/19 Seth Walker

4/25 Marc Broussard

4/26 Lonestar Jam with Cross Canadian Ragweed/Cory Morrow/Kevin Fowler

4/27 Allison Moorer and Steve Earle

4/30 Will Hoge – and we all know I [heart] Will Hoge

5/6 Guy Clark/Joe Ely/John Hiatt/Lyle Lovett

5/12 Dale Watson

5/16 Reckless Kelly

5/17 The Derailers

5/21 Charlie Robison

5/22 Junior Brown

5/24 Cross Canadian Ragweed

Whew darlin, what do you think? Can I see it all? Probably not. Realistically, I’ll be lucky if I can shake my tired tail feathers to half these shows. But I’m sure as hell going to make a decent run at it! So by the time I get to Montana I will have my fill of live music and I will be ready to fish my little heart out.

And if you happen to be floating on The Smith River on June 13th and hear someone belting out a little Fist City or Don’t Come Home A Drinkin’ With Lovin On Your Mind, well that’ll just be me. Throwing streamers and doing my best Loretta.

19 Responses to “Next Time Loretta. Next Time.”
  1. Kentucky Jim says:

    Hates fly fishing and Loretta Lynn? Really? I once knew a guy who was kind of a kook. He said grace out loud in a restuarant with his date. She excused hereself to go to the bathroom, and he never saw her again. Seems like a solid exit strategy to me.

  2. Loretta Lynn? She sings, right? At least that’s what she was doing when I met her backstage at the Grand Ole Opry. Nice woman; gracious even though she didn’t know who the hell I was.

    Plus I got to see the inspiration for Garrison Keillor’s Prarie Home Companion. Doubly cool.

    It’s a good thing I’m far too elevated a human being to rub it in.

  3. Wally says:

    “wrote her own songs” and makes great chicken.

  4. now here is a dangerous idea….I will trade straight up Delta airmiles (ticket) from Missoula,Mt to Texas (city of your choice…timed so you can make the concert and back to Missoula….for a guided trip on the river of your choice in Texas…….time to be mutual between the both of us (never fished Texas other than Reds and Speckeled trout)…. and then life will be complete.

    Monty Montana

  5. KY Jim — I am going to have to remember the bathroom trick. Classic.

    Underground — what can I say? you are my hero. I’m a little weepy over here. Please tell me you have some photos from these Opry encounters. I am very very impressed

    Wally — like Crisco you’ll do me proud every time. Love the ad. And hey, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve tried cheaper shortening….Cmon Pa, let’s eat

    Monty MT — I’m blown away! What a kind and generous offer. Pretty good deal for both of us, really. And they say chivalry is dead. Clearly it’s alive and well here on FFC…

  6. Bob/Austin says:

    May have to check her out at Stubbs.
    You forgot to mention Tony Price @ CC!
    Oh Yea!!!

  7. floaty says:

    Well, I sure hope you got some fishin’ in on the Little Red while you were in Arkansas!

  8. Dash says:

    Wait a minute. You were up all night drinking with Charlie Robison? I definitely need to hear more about that one.

    Anybody who doesn’t like fly fishing and Loretta needs to be dragged off and shot. Just sayin’.

    All those dates are going to be excellent, especially the last half dozen or so. But don’t forget about the Americana Jam at Gruene Hall on May 18th.

  9. yall will be happy to know my music campaign kicked off with a bang tonight. just rolled in from a big night out, including catching Seth Walker at the Saxon Pub. AND running into him on the way into the show! He’s a total honey-charmer and kind enough to pose for a quick pic…

  10. shannon says:

    I have a second cousin named Loretta. I was so in love with her as a prepubescent. I later found out she liked me too, but her Mom wanted “normal” grandchildren. Just the name Loretta … texasflycaster

  11. Day Tripper says:

    My wife’s grandmother is good friends with Loretta Lynn. Our kids have some hand me down toys from the Loretta

  12. Daytripper — you’re killing me here. I kinda couldn’t be more jealous/impressed. I’m no math wizard but that means, so far, 2 out of the 4 Underground blogs have a loretta lynn connection

    So Singlebard, what have you got for me? do you have anything to do with Loretta Lynn? Kin to Doolittle? Born in Butcher Holler? Sang with her at the Opry?

    meanwhile…TXFlyaster. I love that you were sweet on your cousin! nice work there, breaking down those southern stereotypes one intra-family crush at a time…

  13. Pete says:

    Cross Canadian Ragweed? Don’t they sing that song about how them boys from Oklahoma do something all wrong, or something?

  14. you got it Pete! looks like someone knows his ragweed…

    ever seen them play in your neck of the woods?

  15. Pete says:

    I don’t know them that well but should check them out. I know the song because during a redfish trip in Port Aransas, we went to a dive bar that had karaoke night and heard it sung about five times.

  16. ooh, definitely check out Cross Canadian and let me know what you think! I am a longtime evangelist. Frankly, I’m kinda nutty for them. Considering I’ve long-since passed the median age of a ‘groupie’ I probably shouldn’t share the lengths I’ve gone to just to see them play in various cities/states. Including my own redfishing trip to Port Aransas…

    But lucky for me they’re playing here this saturday night!

    (this is all so timely. my daughter is rockin her green CCR t-shirt for Earth Day today)

  17. Pete says:

    Listening to their myspace page right now. But on their tour dates they snubbed NYC, so no live show for me. Looking forward to the post on it next week…

  18. Brooke says:

    Hello!! I love Loretta, she ROCKS!!I have been to the ranch many times & have stayed behind the gates of her plantation.I’m really good friends with her son Ernie & his wife Kissy. He has bought horses from me & my family has bought from him. I used to go every year to her ranch (such a beautiful place)but it seems that she has a butthole woman running the ranch named Aprile. She is the wife of her long time ranch manager Allen who I used to think was a cool man but have come to realize that he is a p–s who lets his woman tell him who he can be friends with. She send letters to women that Allen used to be friends with to act as if they are trying to sleep with him. I’m one of the women that used to be friends with him untill he married her. I can only hope that Loretta will get her beautiful ranch back under controll. Who ever heard of a person typing letters to a womens husband or boyfriend stating that they are trying to be with Allen when they are just calling to say Happy Birthday! Poor Loretta needs a better ranch manager someone with a back bone for gods sake.What happen to being people friendly? There is no telling how many familys Aprile has caused problems over being a jealous, insecure person. Just because she is known for cheating doesn’t mean that every other person on this earth that talks to the opposite sex is wanting to cheat. Thank God my man & I talk or she would have put me in a bad spot for calling Allen on his birthday. She typed a letter to my house to my boyfriend to tell him to tell me to stop calling Allen all the time. I called 1 time since his last birthday! It sucks to be that insecure wouldn’t you say? What ever happen to Dave Adams? The ranch ROCKED when he, Sissy Lynn & Betty Sue run the joint. You could talk to any sex without getting a typed letter in the mail!!! This lady doesn’t even know my name she got all my info off of a telephone number when I called. So in the future if you want to call & talk to Allen Brutto because you haven’t in a long time & are female block your number she is crazy!!!!! I thought that you had to be a people person to do the job he is asked to do? All I know is she has run a lot of people away that has spent many years at the ranch, way before she came to town. Go back to West Virgina & take her with you Allen!!! Sincerly, I miss the Old Ranch

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