River Bank Robbers

We spent four days on The Missouri and almost every rising fish we found was tight to the bank – and I do mean tight to the bank. We’re not talking out in the parking lot or loitering on the steps of a local community bank. These fish weren’t handling petty cash in the lobby with the tellers and day-to-day customers. Oh no, they were locked deep inside the vault of the main branch, well-behind ironclad doors that required seven passcodes and a retinal scan in order to gain access.

These treasure trout were always tucked in close, about one inch from the edge, behind a rock, and under an overhanging Russian Olive tree. Miraculously they also seemed to benefit from a rogue branch dipping out onto the water about one foot upstream, as well as a curiously timed burst of wind that repelled any shot at a quick Smash-and-Grab.

Time to rob some banks.

butch cassidy sundanceWe were stealthy in our approach, casing each joint in hushed tones, casting from crouched and seated positions. We covered for each other by feathering the oars and gently letting out anchor rope. We threw everything but lit sticks of dynamite at those banks, feverishly trying to penetrate their heightened security and make off with at least one aquatic hostage from each spot.

Good Lord couldn’t we find just one dumb hungry fish chasing caddis emergers in the middle of the river? Just one blind elderly woman with her wallet hanging out of her purse on the subway?

Apparently not. And of course that made it all the more fun once we caught them. Or hooked them. Or…..at least got them to eat before we rowed our getaway boat on down the river.

Like any legendary bank robbing spree, reality eventually catches up bringing it all to a crashing end. But it sure was fun while it lasted! Enjoy the following evidence slideshow from The Great Missouri Trout Heist.

13 Responses to “River Bank Robbers”
  1. Jerry Minder says:

    nice touch FFC. I like the whole package. nice delivery.

  2. Turnip Truck Driver says:

    You’re a thinker, Chick…that’s what you do best…Chick, you just keep on thinkin’.

  3. Harry says:

    Now those are some nice looking trout! Just what you need to feed your addiction.

    And another fine presentation by fly fish chick productions I might add.

  4. Monty Montana says:

    congratulations…an amazing story, very well written.Your wrting talent is Golden, living only in the shadow of your smile.

    Someday you need to teach….after you can’t man the sticks.

    enjoy the girls time, can’t waite to her about little chicks adventurs at camp.


  5. Scott says:

    Now wait a minute… we have an overhanging Russian Olive in front of our house that always holds a lot of fish. Have you been poaching our home trout? Do I need to contact my congressman and file a protest? Those are our go-to fish for that time in the evening when the beer is cold and the ribs are cooking.

  6. Alabama flygirl says:

    Good times!

  7. Rodster says:

    Chickie – - We can always bank on the stimulus of your prose packaged into your blog. The accounts of your adventures are capital and always draw high interest rates from your shareholders. You’re an asset to those of us how aspire to toss off the balance sheet and load up our debit column for an expedition into Chapter 13. Best fishes, Rodster

  8. Dash says:

    Great post and video! Glad to see you had a good time. Welcome back to the heat wave.

  9. I came across your blog recently and have enjoyed your work. It’s funny you wrote a post about river bank robbers as I have coined myself as The River Bank Robber on my blog. The idea came from the recent fashion trend with fly fishers, including myself wearing the buff. Good work and keep it up!

  10. that’s hysterical! great minds…

    thanks for commenting, am thrilled to know about your blog. great stuff! and don’t worry I won’t “steal” your moniker past the post….cheers!!

  11. Bert says:

    My brother and I were in Craig/Wolf Creek for 5 days over the 4th. Those bank robbers would move up to the very top of some the islands and take X-Caddis and Hot Butt Caddis. Usually just in a few inches of soft water before it breaks around the island.

    Was that you in the TroutLodge parking lot with a homemade rod sock sewn from pajama material?

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