My Kingdom For A Lazy River

lazy river Last weekend we celebrated Little Chick’s birthday out at the Hyatt Lost Pines resort where I spent hours floating round and round the lazy river. I am obsessed! For a manmade, bugless, troutless river, this really can’t be beat. Anything but lazy, I went into Texas Water Safari training-mode and swam against the current. What a workout! Believe me, I was a tired little steelhead after two days of that.

The best part? I finally got some exercise and back pain relief. I would do anything to get a lazy river installed in my back yard. As a weak substitute, I am going to try and replicate the low-impact water workout in a regular ole cement pond. A pool. Yawnsville. Oh how I miss the lazy river! Think my doctor would prescribe it as physical therapy and the Hyatt would let me come out and “rehabilitate” for free? Maybe I could offer casting clinics in the lazy river to earn my keep.

Regardless, I am undeterred in my campaign to heal my back, and I think swimming is a viable course of action, even if it has to be in a boring old pool. Hey, I am trying anything & everything here. I did take the wretched steroids for eight brutal days. While they definitely helped the back/leg pain, they pretty much made me feel like I was a puffer fish that had been sucking on an air-hose for a week.

puffy fish

I’ve also invested in a topnotch office chair to help my back; placed a kitchen timer on my desk to ensure I get up and stretch every 45 minutes, raised my computer monitor to be at ideal ergonomic height, and purchased a Fitball. I ice my back with this funky gelpack twice daily, and think this Biofreeze product might actually work a teeny bit.

fitball  biofreeze

Have you ever heard of KT Tape? It has been highly recommended so I bought some — in pink, but of course. So we’ll see how KT Tape feels on two airplanes tomorrow. I have no clue how this stuff works but man, people swear by it!

kt tape

As you can see I am taking this back thing quite seriously. At this point, it’s actually the pain radiating down my leg that is the most annoying.

But it is finally starting to feel better. And none too soon, as I head back to Montana tomorrow for a few days of fishing, rowing, and general lollygagging. We don’t have any set plans, which is divine. We might fish the Beaverhead or the Big Hole, either of which would instantly eclipse the heartache I have for the lazy river. We’ll probably watch some college football. Maybe check out the Fly Fishing Festival in Ennis. Who knows…either way it’s my last hoorah for a trout/food/vino combo before the real water safari training begins this fall.

Spoiler alert: On September 14th I am starting a Cleanse. Egads. I don’t precisely know what is going to be involved, but apparently I am going to feel incredible afterwards. Details to follow. Anyone care to do it with me?

15 Responses to “My Kingdom For A Lazy River”
  1. Jeff says:

    Hey FFC,
    I so totally know what you may be going through. A suggestion might be Chiropractic adjustment or maybe an inversion table, I have had it work absolute wonders for me (I have 3 compressed discs in my Lumbar. KT tape is really helpful too.
    Heal fast

  2. Allison says:

    I am starting a cleanse in a few days. Not sure which one you’re doing, but I’m sure it will be a great way to kick off your training and all around health kick. I try to cleanse twice a year, just to get back on the wagon of paying attention to everything I put in my body. Good luck!!

  3. jeff says:


    Arnold Palmer told me to never, ever be a name-dropper, but Fred Couples advised me that stretching my calves would DEFINITELY alleviate the back pain. And it works!

    The hardest part is getting someone to hold the *other* end of the calf while you stretch it.

    Go ‘Heels!


  4. brian says:

    FFC good luck with back rehab.

  5. Thanks yall. I know a lot of you suffer from back pain and other ailments. Appreciate the empathy & all the great ideas! I am traveling strategically lite today. Flyrod, phone & reading material. No carryon. And i have tragically set aside fashion (we will reunite again soon cute wedge heel sandals, sniff sniff) and am traveling in — good heavens i swore i would never use this phrase for myself– i am traveling in ‘sensible shoes’

    hey, at least they are the nike running shoes bill farnum sent me so they have the good ‘fighting rett syndrome’ mojo

    still. I miss heels. I am short and sensible. Ugh.

  6. FFC,
    We really like your website and humor. Good luck healing your back pain. No back pain here, but my knee is starting to get a little hitch. I like to think standing in the river all day helps to relieve all pain. If you are on the Beav look for us on the upper stretch.

  7. Monty Montana says:

    Tequila,Tequila and more Tequila… damit anyway girl.You sure are spendin a lot of loot on snake oil.Duct tape is whole lot cheaper. Drink enough and you won’t even remember were you left your damn shoes, let alone what kind they were and your back…What back pain?

    Just jerking the ‘ole tippet a bit…remember one thing, it took a long time for the back to get to this point (pain) take the recovery slow don’t force it…it (recovery) will come around.

    Give ‘ole Montana a hug for me

  8. Harry says:

    You are on the right track, sensible shoes stylish or not will help the old back. Lots of stretching, a really good chiropractor, periodic massage therapy and drink plenty of water. Works for me pretty well.

    Medicinal quantities of tequilla won’t hurt a bit either! Monty’s right about that also.

  9. die fische says:

    That Lazy River sounds like heaven. Less crowded than Schlitterbahn i’m guessing.

    Guess i’ll have to bring my own trout though…

  10. Budapest says:

    It looks very nice. Are there some fishes in it, lol :-)

  11. SmellsLikeFish says:

    I think Monty’s got it right, a drunk hottie in heels with a fly-rod as carry-on is uhhhhhhhh…
    oh yeah, we were talking about your back getting better.


  12. I congratulate some of your regulars; they have the correct general idea for back pain relief.

    Ironically, you got even closer on your August 18th post, “Calling Dr. Bombay.”

    My time-tested technique is what one friend calls “Vitamin G,” as in gin, as in Bombay Sapphire.

    Add a slice of lime, some ice cubes, a couple of garlic-stuffed olives…repeat as necessary.

    “What back pain???”

    Wait, Little Chick can’t drive for you yet, can she?

    Damn. Well then, I’ll drink the gin and wish you better.

  13. Larry says:

    Sweet! I just found your cool blog and have been reading through some of the posts for the last 3/4 of an hour. Great stuff. Lots of adventures! You certainly have No trouble expressing yourself or getting a point across either. Lovely photo work throughout makes this blog a real sweetie! I’m going to put a link to it over on my little Outdoorsy blog at
    Let’s Blog… as soon as I’m done here. :-) Have a good one! LarryB

  14. LED TV says:

    I keep listening to the news speak about getting free online grant applications so I have been looking around for the best site to get one.:)

  15. Summer Camps says:

    Best you should make changes to the blog subject Fly Fish Chick » Blog Archive » My Kingdom For A Lazy River to something more specific for your blog post you create. I enjoyed the post withal.

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