Fly Fish Chick

I think Mother Nature is sending me a message to take up sailing as a pastime — or perhaps flying a kite. At the very least I should get on board with a company that harvests wind for energy so I could make some money off of the increasingly evident fact that WIND seems to follow me everywhere I go.

I know, I know. Saltwater fishing guides don’t like their clients to complain about casting in the wind. Fair enough. But a strong gust of wind on a trout stream blows the hatch and my cast, not to mention puts the fish down. So even though it’s not cool to complain about the wind, I do.

Especially since I have apparently picked up another sport where wind is my nemesis: paddling.

Banning and I competed in our first paddling race this past weekend, a simple 6 mile course on Town Lake right here in downtown Austin. The race was loads of fun, super cool people, great scene. But the wind was howling.

There were three alumnimun canoes in our flight, and we had a handicapped start at 10:02 am. I practically used up all my energy paddling in place at the starting line with a fierce headwind blowing us backwards.

My superstar partner and river guide extraordinaire made the brilliant call that we should paddle all the way across to the other side to find some protection from the wind. I’m sure the other teams thought we were crazy – or assumed we were quitting—but when we took an edge of a lead, they followed us over to find some relief from the wind.

Once their flights started, the super sleek race boats got in the mix and overtook us. However we were neck-in-neck with another aluminum canoe right at the mid-point as we made the turn around a pylon, but on the way back they kept the lead all the way to the finish. We surfed back with a tailwind and finished in 1 hour and 36 minutes – just 4 minutes after the other aluminum. Overall out of 23 boats we finished 14th. Not bad!

I must say I really enjoyed this race, even with the pounding wind batting me about like an evil cat with a ratty little play-toy. It was hard paddling into those gusts! But it’s one more step on this journey toward the Water Safari in June. And now we have a benchmark time that we need to beat in the February Town Lake 6-mile race. With regular training I am confident we will improve our time at the next trial…assuming the wind cuts us a little slack.

In the meantime, MANY THANKS to the race organizers, the other teams who participated, and our Team Paddlefish cheerleaders!! Go Team Paddlefish Go!!

This past weekend the Professor and I were enjoying a soggy evening with a little red vino while trying to determine the top five fly-fishing books of all time. We reached consensus pretty quickly on four great reads, but the jury is still out on the fifth slot. Take a look at what we came up with:

1. The River Why by David James Duncan. This is a personal favorite of mine. Adore this book because it’s really just a great love story hidden in a fish story.

2. The Compleat Angler by Izaak Walton. I haven’t read it, going with the masses here.

3. Trout Bum by John Gierach. Didn’t blow my skirt up but I defer to the world on this one.

4. A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean. I know, I know. We love to hate what this film did to our secret little sport. But I love it. I love Robert Redford, I love Norman Maclean, I love the writing. It’s beautiful. It’s literary. It’s poetic. And even if you don’t like it, you at least have to admit, without it we wouldn’t have Buster.

5. ????

What’s your ruling? Did we get it right?

Don’t hold your tongue, instead plead your case for the fifth title to make the list.

Time to get back in the canoe. With less than five months to train for the Texas Water Safari, I am definitely starting to feel the pressure. I’m gathering up all my cold weather fishing gear/clothing to resume paddle training this week. I’m not going to look like a professional paddler, that’s for certain, but I can’t justify spending an extra buck on fancy paddling clothes if I can make my fishing gear work. We shall see.

I may not be an expert paddler, but there’s one thing I know something of, and that’s music. And rivers. So in an effort to get my corpulent yuletide fanny off the couch and back on the treadmill, I’ve created a whopper of a playlist with great songs about RIVERS.

I have to imagine a few of you could chime in on this topic. So tell me, my huckleberry friend, what is your favorite river song?

In the meantime, enjoy the flow of these selections…

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT:

2010 DRAKE FLY FISHING FILM TOUR – BACK IN AUSTIN TX

BIGGER BADDER WILDER WEIRDER

TUESDAY APRIL 27th

SAVE THE DATE.

Get out your calendars and mark down the date because we are bringing the film tour back to Austin, my friends! After last year’s red-hot Austin show, we are really going to amp up the energy this year and make it another Texas-style throwdown.

Those of you who have been around FFC awhile know that I am not full of hot air. Last year I told everyone to get their tickets early, I told everyone we would sell out. Sure enough we sold out well in advance and people were clamoring for tickets. Close to a hundred people didn’t get in. Yikes.

For the FFC newcomers, allow me to get you up to speed on the backstory: Last year I met TX Gov Rick Perry on a plane and he promised to help promote and support the show (when I pitched him loudly in front of dozens of passengers constituents.) He and his aide subsequently ignored all of my calls and emails. 

Shortly after I saw The Lizardman on a plane and contacted him a few times, begging for support. No reply.

Luckily I got a break with localebrity cross-dressing Leslie who shot a video for us. The show was a blast and at the Horseshoe Lounge post-party we plied esteemed author Miles Nolte full of Lone Stars and he was last seen drowning in a pile of plushie toys. It was all good. Except for the terse blog comment I ultimately received from The Lizardman who was peeved that I shamed him on my blog for dissing me.

But nothing – and I mean nothing – mends a minor spat better than the foolproof combination of fishing, films & beer. Ah, the power of the Drake Film Tour! The moment we set the date for the 2010 show I started hounding The Lizardman again, proposing that we kiss and make up…aaaand…that he give us a photo-op. Pretty please? With sugar on top?

Finally, he agreed. So this morning I met the Lizardman at the Alamo Drafthouse, and I am here to tell you he is the greatest guy! In addition to the intense body modification he is a completely fascinating individual — a sideshow performer, a writer with multiple book projects, and an ardent student of philosophy. Turns out his sister and brother-in-law live in Montana and like to fish. And his grandfather was a passionate fisherman in New York who died on the water with a fish on the line.

I am certain the Fly-Fish-Chick-Lizardman Lovefest is just starting to bloom. The Middle East could take a page from our book! And Perry? Pa-shaw. Perry. What is he thinking snubbing me so badly? I am going to try and use FFC as the anti-Oprah effect on his goobernatorial campaign. You know what I say? I say, “LIZARDMAN FOR GOVERNOR!!”

Oh my goodness did I just accidentally launch his campaign for Texas Governor?

But really, at the end of the day, I think we’ve learned three important lessons here:

#1 — I have a strange tendency to incorporate men-with-stuffed-animal pictures when I blog about the film tour

#2 — The Lizardman’s grip-and-grin is infinitely more badass than anything you’ve ever seen on the Drake

#3 — We can do things the hard way, or we can do things the easy way, but no matter what I will wear you down charm you in the end. I believe the Lizardman can attest to that.

So folks I urge you to go ahead and mark your calendars. And stay tuned for information on ticket sales.

Thank You, Thank You Thank You, Lizardman!

No matter! We decided to make the most of it and go anyway. We recruited my cousin and her husband to join us. Despite nosebleed seats and frigid temps we had a blast. On the way in we met other revelers who were passionate SEC football fans, just there for the booze. And we made friends with some Clemson guys seated in front of us, one of whom loved to fish and spent most of the game showing us fishing pictures on his phone and talking about South Carolina sheep-head with the Professor.

Kind of a problem later in the game when he received a text that his friends were detained by police. As he was trying to deal with the logistics of johnny-law, his phone ran out of juice. Oh well. It is my experience fisherman love to talk fishing at the expense of many things.

As it should be.

Cheers to our new Clemson fans, and I hope everyone is gearing up for a full, blue-moon New Years Eve and preparing to watch a lot of football tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy some shaky footage of our adventure at the Music City Bowl the other night:

Merry Merry to all my FFC readers! It’s a perfect time to take pause and say THANK YOU for tuning in and jumping in the mix here at FFC, I truly appreciate your friendship and am so grateful you continue to indulge me in my storytelling. I hope the magic of the holiday season touches each and everyone of you.

And now I would like to share a few, shall we say, artsy Christmas card shots from my dear friend, fishing partner, and celebrity fly tyer Bob Lay:

I am so flattered to be on his Christmas card list! Every year I receive these gems and he has finally agreed to let me post them on the blog. Bob is a great friend and I wish him and his wife & family all the blessings they deserve this holiday season.

Why in the world would I shoot my own Christmas card photos when you’ve got these? They say it all…..MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!!

I am  in Nashville for the holidays so my dad sat me down at the vise for my first ever fly tying lesson. I’ve been wanting my own stash of buzzballs – as many as I want, whenever I want – so I am now inspired to try my hand at tying. So far, I’ve only watched him tie two buzzballs, but I already know my favorite part is going to be palmering.

Palmering is beautiful! The vise rotates and the hackle unfurls in a uniform motion, fanning out in a perfect three-dimensional pattern. Like a well-choreographed water ballet routine, it evolves right before your very eyes. I love it.

The recipe for the LaFontaine Buzzball is explained quite well in this video by my friends at Headhunters. My dad followed it to the letter:

I’m excited to give this a try. Stay tuned friends, as soon as I can find a break in the holiday hoohaw, I am going to channel my Inner Esther Williams and palmer the night away at the vise…

I had such fun on Saturday with my friends at Fly South here in Nashville. They rolled out a fine spread of Krispy Kremes, hot coffee, mango mimosas and bloody marys. We had a great turnout, and hopefully I didn’t bore everyone with my presentation on Montana trout fishing – heaven knows that’s a topic I like to talk and talk and talk about!

It was such fun to be with family and old friends, not to mention have the opportunity to meet new ones. I’m so grateful to everyone who trekked out. Here’s a mini slideshow of the event. Hold your cursor over each picture to read the captions:

Hopefully Fly South got a little extra ring on the register from our breakfast gathering. These guys are topnotch and deserve it after all their hard work.

Little Chick certainly had her consumer hat on wandering through the store, adding one item after the next to her xmas list. The number one item she wanted from  Fly South? A new pink flyrod. I guess Santa was watching my presentation and our little shop gathering because this appeared at our early xmas celebration yesterday morning:

THANK YOU FLY SOUTH FOR THE HOSPITALITY!!!!!

I am overwhelmed by feelings of nostalgia and memories of family traditions. Wistful, light-hearted notions of carefree days and the sound of laughter with friends. Now while I am preparing to travel to Nashville this week for the holidays, it’s not the Yule Tide season or the thought of rocking around the Christmas tree that has my head in the clouds.

I am experiencing a severe case of trout brain.

This weekend I will be at FLY SOUTH flyshop in Nashville doing a presentation on fishing Montana rivers. In preparation, I am knee-deep in fish photographs and river maps and flies…and it’s killing me. I am desperate to be in a drift boat in Montana. I wish I were in the middle of an evening caddis hatch on the Missouri with two hours of summer sunlight left and a glass of red wine and a bowl of penne waiting for me at Izaaks at about 11 pm.

Since that’s still months away and I am due to shake my tail feathers South for the winter instead of West, talking trout will have to suffice until I am catching them. Care to join me?

The guys at Fly South are the best and if you’re not on a river, I can’t think of a better place to spend a Saturday. So if you’re in the area, please do come to Fly South this weekend to say hello, score a doughnut, and see my presentation on fishing Montana rivers.

Krispy Kremes & Trout Talk

Fly Fish Chick at Fly South

1514 Demonbreun St

Saturday December 19th from 9-10am

If you’re not in Nashville, don’t think you’re off the hook. I need help with my withdrawal symptoms presentation. Send me some Big Sky fishing stories, pictures, pattern suggestions. Jump in the mix, share your trout fishing highlight reel with the rest of us. What was your best day on a Montana river? I am granting you permission to brag – not to mention an excuse to take a break from your online Christmas shopping.

I’ve never been to Hawaii, but over the past few years I’ve become more and more intrigued with visiting the 50th state. What’s peaked my interest, you ask? Well, here are the top 5 reasons:

5. I kinda like that crazy University of Hawaii mascot, Vili The Warrior

Even though he offended University of Houston and UTEP fans and violated the Alabama elephant when he stuck his elephant trunk up his bum and violently threw the 165-lb Bama student dressed as Big Al across the field, I still kinda like ole Vili.

4. I want to see Doris Duke’s Hawaii estate Shangri La

I know, I just said the word ‘Duke’ and basketball season has already started. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. But I am fascinated by Doris Duke’s Hawaiian estate (now a museum open to the public) and I would love to see it in person. Go Heels.

3. Little Chick and I already own grass skirts and Hawaiian shirt koozies

For some reason we decided to throw a Luau a few years ago on January 2nd. It snowed. I bought a grass skirt on the Internet and paid a premium to have it shipped two-day air in time for the party. Surprisingly, I haven’t had another occasion to wear it and would really like to get my money’s worth outta that thing.

2. The Divine Miss M

Bette Midler was born in Hawaii and I love her version of this song

1. And of course, the Number One Reason I want to visit Hawaii:

Holy Bonefish!! Many thanks to Craig Sako, Hawaiian-angler and longtime friend of FFC, for sending along this great picture.

Mele Kalikimaka everyone!!